The pantheon of coffee customers

On my route to work is a great little coffee place smack dab in the middle of tourist-y downtown. They make a mean Americano (and anything else you’d care to try).

Monorail makes you feel special. Like you’re in on some joke — a tiny stand that serves amazing coffee that most people walk right by on their way to somewhere else. If you stop there, you’re in the club. But there’s more levels than that. I’ve been observing, and here’s what I’ve got so far:

Entry level = you stopped and got in line
Level 1 = barista* recognizes you with a knowing smile
Level 2 = barista notes something nice about you (wallet, coat, etc.) and it makes you smile because no one really does that anymore, you know?
Level 3 = barista will ask you “the regular?” – note: this only happens once, before you move to…
Level 4 = barista will smile at you and make your drink without asking what you want
Level 5 = barista will say “Hey ____!” and you will reply with “Hello, _____!” because you’re just that tight. Some small talk ensues. I’d assume the Level 4 no-asking-drink-making is implicit.

I don’t think there’s a Level 6, but I could be wrong. I was at Level 2 for awhile, then jumped up to 4 pretty quickly. I can’t really hear too well when people say the barista’s name, but I think it starts with a “D.” I’m not sure if I wait for her to introduce herself or how one really gets to Level 5. I’m not really sure I even want to, it seems like a pretty serious morning commitment – small talk. I dig Level 4 because I don’t have to talk at all and that really suits my 8:40am mindset.

_____________________________________
* How has Starbucks managed to make this word seem like a semi-insult, I don’t know; couldn’t find a better word, though